My wife, Linda, died four years ago

My Bible: reasons to believe in the power of the Bible

'My wife, Linda, died four years ago. We’d been married for 36 years. In 2015, we spent an amazing week on Lindisfarne. When we arrived, there was a little bookmark on my bed. It was of Psalm 32.8, ‘I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you’. That became a very important verse. 

'Now, this verse is a constant reassurance that, whatever I feel, God knows about this and if I listen, I will hear him. I have discovered the value of silence in a powerful way. Before lockdown, I got into the habit of going on retreats and trying to listen to the Lord. I find that silence gives me the space to do that. 

'It’s taken me years to reach this point. I’ve never been a loner, but throughout my married life I was always content to be on my own because I knew I was coming home to someone. Since I’ve been on my own, I find being on my own much less easy, to be honest. 

'I realised that I have survived bereavement, and my own cancer which is incurable, by keeping active and getting out of the house. One of my faults is over-activity. Even now, I’m having a race with my daughter to see who can climb the equivalent of Ben Nevis, Snowdonia and Scafell Pike, by walking and running up and down stairs. I’m a bit daunted by Ben Nevis, because that’s going to be 672 flights of stairs. 

'But this verse gives me daily assurance. It’s part of me now. I don’t even have to look at it. I can see that I was overdoing it, and that there are things that I need to face up to and deal with. That’s the way I have got to go.'

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